Does He Love Me does He Not?

It's almost here..The day I really used to dread!!
Serious.. I did!! I'd act all tough...I failed miserably. I hated feeling unloved. I grew up that way and it continued threw most of my adult life...the feeling of it. I love getting cards. I don't get many. I used to send out more. I'd never miss a birthday of anyone I knew. Though many missed mine. I go all out for holidays but many skip me. I don't do it because of the return..but all the same it still hurts. I wonder why. It hurts deeply.
So our Anniversary came and went no card not one!! and that includes him. Nope not one!! Not from a sis or sis in law or brother or brother in law not one..not from either of our mothers..not evan a call. And whats the importance of it all? ( I love to rhyme) Just feelings of one so small!! So I quit after a while of sending out birthdays, anniversary's and just saying hello at all. It's hard to realize I wasn't really as important to them as they were to me. Our kids birthdays go bye for the most part unnoticed. I invite few but I feel they'd rather not come. So it hurts. And it hurts worse when it's Him.. my Husband. Not evan a Christmas card .But he's busy. He's sorry. So now I am to the point of don't evan notice me on holidays or any other day.
Ya know that song by Janis Ian....At Seventeen? (Well if not I'll write a few of the lines.. This is so me!!)
I learned the truth at 17 that Love was meant for beauty queens..
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles..Who married Young & than retired...
The Valentines I never knew... the Friday night charades of youth....
were spent on ones more beautiful..At 17 I learned the truth.
OOHH is that me or what. I sing the song and cry that's how pathetic I am!! But it's true.
I am not ugly though I am not a beauty queen. I wonder every day whats wrong with me.
So does He Love me...or does He not?
I think he does. I feel he does not. So what is right. Is it because I feel so unimportant in every ones life that it has taken over me...or is it so? How am I to know. It evan spills on to my kids. Especially the oldest. Whom I protected for so long from someone most wicked. Wheres mine..or will I never know?
So I ask and I know I'll sit in silence and ponder it. And He's under my secret scrutiny.
I always want to do loving things for the people I love . I see it all around me. it hurts when i am all alone or the feeling is there at least.
So I feel as i did so long ago But I Love him so so does it really matter in the end if there's a card or not?

Someone

someone is very proud of you,
someone misses you,
someone wants to talk to you
someone hopes you aren't in trouble ,
someone is thankful for Your support ,
someone wants to hold your hand ,
someone hopes everything turns out all right ,
someone wants you to be happy ,
someone is celebrating your successes,
someone thinks you ARE a gift ,
someone wants to hug you,
someone loves you ,
someone admires your strength,
someone is thinking of you and smiling ,
someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on ,
someone thinks the world of you ,
someone wants to protect you,
someone would do anything for you,
someone wants to be forgiven ,
someone is grateful for your forgiveness,
someone wants to laugh with you about old times ,
someone remembers you and wishes you were there
someone needs to know that your love is unconditional ,
someone values your advice,
someone wants to tell you how much they care ,
someone wants to share their dreams with you ,
someone wants to hold you in their arms,
someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms ,
someone treasures your spirit ,
someone wishes they could STOP time for you,
someone can't wait to see you,
someone wishes that things didn't have to change ,s
omeone loves you for who you are ,
someone loves the way you make them feel ,
someone wants to be with you ,
someone hears a song that reminds them of you ,
someone wants you to know they are there for you ,
someone is glad that you're their friend ,
someone stayed up all night thinking about you ,
someone is alive because of you ,
someone is wishing that you would notice them ,
someone misses your guidance and advice ,
someone values your guidance and advice,
someone has faith in you & trusts you ,
someone needs your support ,
someone needs you to have faith in them ,
someone will cry when they read this & maybe it'll be You.